


Zeeplabor: Robin of Foxley

by DancouMaryuu



Series: Zeeplabor - The Mobile Police [2]
Category: Kidou Keisatsu Patlabor | Mobile Police Patlabor, Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Patlabor Fusion, Giant Robots, Mecha, No Patlabor Characters, Police, Real Robot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2020-06-27 16:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancouMaryuu/pseuds/DancouMaryuu
Summary: No sooner does Division 2's final member arrive than questions are raised about Judy and Nick's ability to work together as a team. It may take some creative work by a bull, a bat, and a cheetah to get the two of them to see eye to eye.





	1. "I look forward to working with you all"

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewritten version of the original 'Robin of Foxley', which was published in the same work as 'Fifty-One-Fifty.' That old version will soon be deleted to avoid confusion.

The compact, small-mammal-scaled convertible pulled into the small lot that outside the converted warehouse that was now home to Special Vehicles Second Section.

Its driver promptly got out and made her way through the doors into the hangar, regarding the Ingrowls from Division 2 lined up on one side and the older CPL-44S Python Zeeplabors on the other. She’d seen the Ingrowls in action from news footage of their deployment on Okavango Road.

The newcomer noted with dismay that one of the Ingrowls – Unit 2 – had yet to be fully cleaned, and still had dents and scratches from its previous ordeal. With all the grit from the department store debris covering it, it was hard to believe that it was a machine fresh off the assembly line.

One of the mechanics, a burly hyena woman, soon walked up to the new arrival. “Can I help ya?”

The newcomer looked up at the hyena. “Could you tell me where Captain Bogo’s office is?”

The hyena pointed to the catwalk. “Upstairs, through that door, second door on the left.”

“Thank you.”

“Couldn’t help but notice you eyeballin’ those bad boys,” chuckled the hyena. “Real beauts, aren’t they?”

“Inaba Heavy Industries Advanced Vehicle Model 44 – aka. the Ingrowl patrol Labor.” the new arrival quoted from memory. “6.02 tons. 8.02 meters tall. SCB powerplant. SCLM drive system. Armed with an electromagnetic baton, as well as a 37-millimeter revolver cannon interchangeable with a 37-millimeter tranquilizer pellet gun. Designed specifically for police use so as to make a psychological impact on the community – deterring crime while making the public feel safe.”

With that, the newcomer turned away, leaving the hyena gaping in her wake.

* * *

Judy would have liked nothing better than to forget last night’s deployment on Okavango Road, but going to work that morning meant she had to put up with Hylander bragging constantly about his stealth skills that night.

“I still can’t believe I pulled it off!” chuckled the hyrax. “You'd have thought that that raccoon would have heard me moving around!”

Now Judy had had enough. “Look Hylander, you got the first Labor kill of the Division. I’m sure we’re _all_ impressed, but-“

“Oh no!” said Hylander. “I’m not trying to belittle you. In fact, I’ll admit I’m a little jealous of you.”

“Why’s that?”

“You were the first mammal of our Division to draw one of our 38-millimeter revolver cannons.” The hyrax sat at his desk, resting his chin in his hands, sighing longingly. “Hopefully I’ll be the first to _fire_ them. I bet the bullet just _sings_ as it leaves the chamber!”

Judy was getting a better and better idea of what exactly made her uncomfortable around Hylander.

Just then, Clawhauser burst into the office. Being a bigger mammal than the rest of the lower-ranked mammals of Division 2, he left quite an impression as he staggered in, panting. “You… You guys! Our last member’s coming!”

“Already?” said Beaverbrook, setting down a copy of _Coins and Banknotes of Mammalkind_.

“I thought you said they wouldn’t be here for another week,” said Judy.

“Tha… That’s what I thought too,” panted Clawhauser. “But it turns out she’s coming here early. I dunno what time, but I hear she’ll be coming _today_! And that’s not all!” The portly cheetah took out a sheet from his pocket. “I found out her name and where she’s transferring from.”

“Oh?” Hylander raised an eyebrow. “Not her species?”

Clawhauser’s ears drooped. “It didn’t mention her species…”

“Her name didn’t tell you anything?” asked Hylander. “Usually that’s a giveaway.”

“Gee,” quipped Wilde, looking up from his box of blueberries. “Tell me, how many species come to mind when you think of ‘Wilde’.”

“Very funny, fox,” grumbled Hylander.

“And how many species have claws, Benjamin _Claw_ hauser?” continued Wilde. “And for all I knew, Hopps could’ve been a kangaroo until I met her.”

“Hey!” piped up Judy.

“Wh-what _is_ her name then?” said Beaverbrook, nervously glancing at Wilde and Hylander.

“Okay you guys…” said Clawhauser, glancing at the slip of paper. “Her name is Lieutenant Virginia Lee Foxape, and she used to be with the Deerbrooke County Police.”

Silence fell on Division 2.

Wilde raised an eyebrow. “Fox… ape?”

“Maybe she’s the adopted child of an interspecies couple?” Judy suggested.

“Hadn’t thought of that,” said Beaverbrook, adjusting his glasses.

“But what species _is_ she?” said Hylander. “Wait, she’s a Lieutenant?”

Clawhauser nodded.

The hyrax whistled. “Must cut a figure in the department then. That’d make her our second-in-command!”

Hylander then began running his hands through the fur on his head. “Confound it, I wish we’d known this earlier! How are we going to make a good impression if we know nothing about her?!”

“Is it that important?” said Judy.

“If she’s going to be our superior, we need to show her due respect,” said Hylander. “Not knowing her species or background means we could make a _faux pas_ right out the gate!”

“ _Faux pas_ for fox-ape…” muttered Wilde.

“We know she was last in Deerbrook County…” said Judy.

“That’s pretty remote,” said Beaverbrook. “I’m guessing she’s a country girl?”

“Brilliant!” said Hylander, bursting out of his chair to face Judy. “You could give us valuable insights here, Hopps!”

Judy backed away from Hylander. “Wha… Me?”

“Yes, you!” said Hylander, grinning from ear to rounded ear. “You’re from the country. You’ll know how to address her!”

“Now hold on,” said Judy. “Burrows County’s nothing like Deerbrooke County. The geography’s different.”

“Oh?”

“The Tri-Burrows are flat open fields – like the Meadowlands but way more farms,” explained Judy. “Deerbrooke County’s way different from what I’ve heard. For one, it’s way more trees and mountains – so less farming and more mining and lumber.”

“Now that you mention it,” said Beaverbrook. “My family comes from there originally.”

“Wait, what about mining?” said Judy, snapping her fingers as a realization hit her. “More mines are using Labors these days, right?”

“You think that’s where she picked up the experience?” said Clawhauser.

“See? That tells us something!” said Hylander. “Maybe she’s another digging species – like a gopher or another bunny.”

“Don’t most foxes dig?” said Clawhauser, with a glance at Wilde.

“That would explain _half_ the name…” said Hylander.

“Hang on…” Beaverbrook logged into Ready Room 2’s ancient desktop computer. “Yes, here!” He angled the screen to show the website to the other officers. “They’re putting up a new dam near Podunk. There’s a _lot_ of Labors at work building it.”

“Dam-builders, then,” said Hylander. “Could be another beaver.”

“What about a squirrel?” Clawhauser pondered.

“Huh?”

“Do they use Labors in the lumber industry?”

“Do they?” said Hylander.

“I think some companies do,” said Wilde.

“I see where you’re going,” said Judy. “You think that if she’s working with trees, she’s a tree-dwelling species.”

Clawhauser shrugged. “Just a thought really…”

“Are there any tree-dwelling foxes?” said Hylander. “That would explain ‘fox-ape’.”

“I think grey foxes like going up trees,” said Judy.

“Actually,” Wilde piped up. “You actually don’t see that many grey foxes with vulpine last names.”

“Why not?” said Clawhauser.

“They’re _called_ foxes,” said Wilde, clasping his hands behind his head as he reclined in his chair and looked at the ceiling. “But they’re actually a different genus from most of us; we’re _Vulpes,_ they’re _Urocyon_. Believe it or not, us Reds are more closely related to wolves than we are to grey foxes. Can’t even reproduce together.”

“I… did not know that…” Hylander murmured. Beaverbrook studied his webbed feet.

Judy began to fiddle with the key drive on her lanyard as she realized she hadn’t known that either.

Now she began to wonder about her old childhood bully, Gideon Grey, who – despite what his name implied – was a _red_ fox. That had always bugged her. With that in mind, maybe “Fox-ape” really _was_ just a mindless name?

Judy was about to suggest this to the group when the door to the Ready Room swung open, revealing the massive frame of Captain Bogo. Everyone stood up and saluted.

“At ease,” the bull huffed. “I’ve come here today to introduce you to the last member of the team.” Bogo then stood aside, allowing the rest of Division 2 to take in the new arrival. “Lieutenant?”

Everyone stared as Division 2’s final member stepped into the room.

She wasn’t a mole.

She wasn’t a rabbit.

She wasn’t a beaver.

She wasn’t a fox – red or grey.

She wasn’t an ape – whatever those were.

“Lieutenant Virginia Lee Foxape,” the uniformed opossum gave a curt salute, a small grin on her muzzle. “I look forward to working with you all.”

Silence filled the Ready Room as Division 2 looked up and down their new co-worker. The opossum was on the gaunt side, with steely blue eyes that made her seem to stare right through you. The way her fleshy digits poked out from her furred hands and paws made her look as though she was wearing fingerless gloves and paw wraps.  
  


_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/lawB1cDhSVU) _

Hylander finally broke the silence, jerking to attention with a salute. “ _Ma’am!_ ”

The hyrax then gave a sidelong glare to his fellow officers. What, were they supposed to salute, too?

“I’ll leave you to get acquainted,” said Bogo, stepping out of the Ready Room.

“Uh, it’s nice to meet you, Lietuenant Fox-ape- er, ‘Folks-app’,” said Beaverbrook, who abruptly remembered how the opossum herself had pronounced her surname.

“Show some respect, Beaverbrook,” growled Hylander, not breaking his salute.

The Lieutenant sighed. “Yes, my last name’s spelling can be misleading. Usually I just go by ‘Lee’ to avoid confusion.”

“Understood, Lieutenant Lee, ma’am!” barked Hylander, still saluting. Was he even blinking?

“Just ‘Lee’ is fine,” the opossum sighed again. “There’s no need to be _quite_ so formal.”

“Yes, ma’am!” said Hylander, finally dropping his salute, but still standing to attention.

Judy groaned. Wilde facepalmed. They could tell it was taking all of the opossum’s poise to not do the same.

“Howard Hylander, right?” said Lee, glancing over at Beaverbrook. “And you referred to him as Beaverbrook?”

“Yes, ma’am!” said Hylander.

“Earl Beaverbrook,” said Beaverbrook, extending a hand to Lee. “Sorry I got your name wrong earlier.”

“No hard feelings.” Lee returned the handshake before turning to Hylander, “Captain Bogo says I’m to be the backup to your Labor now.”

“It’d be an honor, ma’am!” said Hylander, earning a twitch of the eyebrow from Lee.

“I guess that puts me on Carrier duty for good, then?” said Beaverbrook.

“Looks like it,” said Lee. “Sorry to edge you out.”

“Oh, don’t be,” said Beaverbrook, raising his hands. “I think I like a backstage role like that would be better anyway.”

“Nothing ignoble about carrier duty, Beaverbrook,” chuckled Hylander. “All parts of the finely tuned law enforcement machine and all that.”

“Speaking of law enforcement machines,” said Lee, turning to Hylander. “I noticed that your Labor’s still showing traces of last night’s ordeal.”

“Ah, yes,” said Hylander. “Assorted debris mixed with rainwater will do that. It’s a dirty business, but someone’s got to do it!” The hyrax puffed out his chest.

“Well, use more caution in future,” said Lee, brow suddenly creasing. “Your life depends on those machines. It’d behoove you to show them a little more care.”

Hylander seemed to deflate like a balloon. “Y-yes, ma’am…”

Wilde shot Hylander his trademark smirk. For once, Judy smirked along with him.

“With that,” Lee sat at Ready Room 2’s last unoccupied desk. “I’m hoping my time here will be a fruitful one.”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SCB:** Superconductive Battery Cells
> 
>  **SCLM:** Superconductive Linear Motor
> 
> Virginia Lee Foxape – Virginia opossum ( _Didelphis virginiana_ ) – The inspiration behind Lee’s first name should be obvious there. As for Lee’s surname, things get… complicated. When European explorers first came to the ‘New World’, they claimed to have discovered a freakish hybrid of fox and ape there. Their discovery would turn out to be related to neither fox nor ape – it was an opossum!
> 
> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**  
> 
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Another Day at the Office" ("Salaryman no Nichijou") - from _Earth Defense Dai-Guard_


	2. "Right, because Labors are BIIIIIG and SCAAAARY!"

_ “So what’s the story this time?” _ asked Wilde through the radio as Division 2 set out on its first deployment with a full complement.

_ “An Ushii Bullfrog,” _ said Captain Bogo.  _ “Pilot’s taking issue with lax Labor regulations. He’s got it into his head that smashing everything up will get the government to tighten them up.” _

In the oversized passenger seat of Unit 1’s carrier, Judy vowed to take down the Bullfrog before Hylander could upstage her again.

Decking up was a quick affair – with decidedly less ceremony than on Okavango Road. Judy’s Ingrowl was the first to step out of its payload bay. As she approached the site of the incident, Judy noticed Wilde’s command car inching up a rather short distance behind her.

“Do you mind?!” she said into her comms system.

“Hey, I’m just keeping an eye on you is all,” said Wilde.

“I don’t need babysitting,” growled Judy.

“Like you didn’t need any on Okavango Road?” said Wilde.

“Hey,  _ you’re _ the one that nearly got turned into a pancake!”

“Well, at least I wasn’t  _ causing _ damage!”

_ “You two  _ do _ realize your loudspeakers are on, right?” _ Lee’s voice suddenly broke in.

Judy and Wilde both clammed up.

Sitting in his smooth-top cruiser a short distance behind the carriers, Captain Bogo groaned. His Division hadn’t even seen the rogue Labor yet and they were embarrassing themselves already.

And this time, their guns were  _ not _ loaded with blanks…

* * *

[ _ [OST1] _ ](https://youtu.be/lPw1zZGb1iA)

The UL-97 Bullfrog was a squat, bipedal machine with three-fingered hands. Instead of a proper head, it had a fighter-jet style canopy that gave the pilot a wide field of view.

This one was a yellow ochre color, but it was becoming caked with dust and muck as it smashed through the Rainforest District.

_ “We demand more regulations on Labors!” _ yelled the pine marten inside through the Bullfrog’s loudspeakers. “You saw what happened in Savanna Central. Any nutjob can do  _ this _ !” The machine drove its fist into an apartment block.

“Freeze! ZPD!” Judy’s Unit 1 approached from the front, stun stick drawn. “That’s as far as you go!”

“You see that!” said the pine marten. “A new-model Zeeplabor! Lionheart, the Council, the feds… they’re all in the maker’s pockets! This is what they’ve sown!”

The Bullfrog surged towards Unit 1 and delivered a punch. Judy was able to block it by raising her shield, but the force was still enough to send her tumbling backward into another apartment block.

Judy quickly righted her Labor and swung at the Bullfrog with her stun-stick. The Bullfrog was able to dodge though, meaning Judy only grazed its abdomen.

“Carrots, calm down!” a breathless Nick barked into his comms system.

“I’ve got it covered Wilde!” growled Judy as she shoved the Bullfrog toward a T-junction in the road, the ochre Labor’s feet digging up the pavement as they went. A small park lay beyond the road, with the flowing Animazon River just beyond it.

_ “She’s relocating the fight,” _ said Clawhauser through Nick’s radio.  _ “Nothing wrong with that, right?” _

Nick was tempted to agree with him, but then the fox realized something.

“Carrots! You’ve gotta pull out of there!”

“Don’t call me Carrots!” growled Judy.

“Just listen!” said Nick. “The humidity in this place is off the charts. If you take him too close to the river-“

“Then I won’t take him too close to the River!” snarled Judy.

“Yeah, but even in the park, that Ingrowl weighs more than six tons,” said Wilde. “There’s a sign right next to my car that says ‘FOR YOUR SAFETY, MAMMALS HEAVIER THAN TWO TONS ARE NOT ALLOWED PAST THIS BOARD.’”

Before Judy could respond to that, the Bullfrog came at her swinging. She responded by raising Unit 1’s shield, but all of a sudden both Labors found themselves flailing for balance.

“Gah! Dumb bunny!” Nick buried his muzzle in his paws as the park was turned into a mud pit by the slip-sliding Labors. The ground in the park was just too soft for Labors to walk properly on!

Deaf to reason! The crazy bunny was deaf to reason!

Unit 1 tried to rush the Bullfrog, but found itself falling forward. Judy put the Ingrowl’s hand in front of it and wound up driving the stun stick into the muck. Using the baton to steady herself, Judy tried to pull her Labor up again but, all of a sudden, the Bullfrog advanced on her, pulling her off the stun stick and then yanking on Unit 1’s arm until it was wrenched off completely at the elbow. The Bullfrog then thrust the Zeeplabor face-first into the mud.

* * *

As she drove her command car near the park’s entrance, with Unit 2 close behind, Lee grimaced. Even after seeing footage from Okavango Road, she had no idea Division 2’s synergy was  _ this _ bad.

Just then, Wilde’s command car rocketed past her towards the Bullfrog as it crouched over the prostrate Unit 1.

_ “Wilde, get out of there!” _ barked Captain Bogo.

“Stay back!” yelled the pine marten. “I’ll flatten you both!”

“Right,” said Wilde into his car’s loudspeakers. “Because Labors are  _ biiiiig _ and  _ scaaary _ !”

Lee gaped. Wilde wasn’t going to try talking down  _ another _ psycho, was he?!

“Just give it up,” Hopps voice came through Unit 1’s garbled loudspeakers. “Resisting arrest won’t do any good!”

“No!” said the pine marten. “Not until I’ve shown this city the kind of damage Labors can do in the wrong hands! Like  _ this _ !” The Bullfrog reached over to a tree, uprooted it, and began whacking Unit 1’s back with it.

“As far as I’m concerned that Labor  _ is _ in the wrong hands.” Judy winced as she tried to get Unit 1 to its feet, but the shift in weight distribution just caused Unit 1’s remaining hand to sink into the mud.

“Stay down, will ya?!” said the pine marten.

“Hey,  _ hey _ !” said Wilde, suddenly driving up closer to Unit 1.

_ “Wilde, pull out now! _ ” roared Bogo as the fox poked his head out of the command car’s hatch.

Wilde ignored the order. “Well you’re right about the Ingrowls,” he said, casually rubbing his fingers together as he spoke through his car’s loudspeakers. “City pumped a  _ loooot _ of our tax dollars into those money pits.” He glanced towards Unit 1 beside him. “But you know what else is a big fat waste of money? Fixing ‘em up after they get trashed! So why not just save everyone the extra on the tax forms and come quietly, huh?”

Lee’s jaw just about hit the floor. “Wilde, you heard the Captain. Stand down!” the possum yelled into her radio.

“I got a statement to make here!” yelled the Bullfrog pilot. “I gotta show everyone how dangerous these things are!”

“Mmm-hmm,” said Wilde. “Well, with all the noise you’ve been making, anyone can see the Labor’s not wearing the pants in this relationship. If you were to actually  _ kill _ someone with it, you’ll get life in San Quillton, but for the Bullfrog… worst-case scenario for the Labor is the blood gets hosed off and it gets melted down into scrap that they’ll use to make  _ more _ Labors.”

“B-but my message!” the rogue Labor pilot stammered.

“It’ll get lost in the chaos,” said Wilde. “You know the media; they like to put a face on problems – and that Bullfrog doesn’t have much of a face. They’ll just dump all the blame on you. If anything, you’d just come off as a massive hypocrite for willfully endangering mammals like this. You’d actually stand a  _ better _ chance of proving your point if you turned yourself in now.”

Lee’s brows raised. She hadn’t expected that.

“Whaddya mean?!” demanded the Bullfrog pilot.

“If you turned yourself in now, it’d show that you can control yourself – not like that raccoon on Okavango Road. Everyone will think ‘Oh wow! We got off lucky! Maybe we  _ should _ tighten those Labor regs?’ Even Lionheart would lose sleep over that.”

Silence fell over the park.

“Lieutenant?” Hylander’s voice came through Lee’s radio. “Any suggestions?”

Lee was speechless.

Before she could finally respond, a voice from the Bullfrog’s loudspeakers cut into her thoughts.

“Okay, I’m coming out!”

_ “What?!” _ Captain Bogo’s voice on the radio mirrored Lee’s thoughts.

Sure enough, the Bullfrog’s airplane-style canopy opened up and the pine marten inside stood up and raised his hands.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**  
>    
> 1) Toshihiko Sahashi - "The Words" - from _The Big O_


	3. "'Reckless' would be an understatement, sir."

As Joanna Namakoro saw the massive Labor-carriers pull in through the hangar door, she grimaced at the thick mud that covered Unit 1 from head-to-toe – even more so when she saw its severed left arm lashed to the top of the trailer.

“What happened out there?!” she demanded as Judy Hopps jumped out of the Labor-carrier.

The hyena got no answer. Just a sullen expression and drooped ears from the little gray rabbit. Further into the cab, Benjamin Clawhauser was about to answer for Judy when a shrill voice barked out from the ajar door marked ‘OFFICE OF THE CHIEF MECHANIC.’

“ _Joanna!_ ”

“Yes, Chief!” sputtered the hyena.

“Tell that bumbling, baked-beans-for-brains bunny barbarian that if she comes back here with another severed limb, I’ll tie that limb to her cottontail, fly her up to ten thousand feet, and drop ‘er in the bay!”

“Yes, Chief…” Joanna sighed.

Judy glanced toward the door. The tiny office had no windows and she couldn’t see the bat through the crack in the door. “How’d she know the arm was off?”

“Echolocation.” Joanna gestured to her ears. “She can _hear_ the damage.”

“Wilde!” said Captain Bogo as he climbed out of his cruiser. “I’d like a word with you – in my office!”

“Big hero…” muttered Judy, as she stared at the fox climbing up the stairs after Bogo.

* * *

“That makes twice that you have attempted to talk down renegade Labor pilots,” said Bogo, regarding Wilde in front of him. “I’m trying my damndest to come up with a reason to throw the book at you, but the only offense I _can_ come up with is insubordination – and in this case, if you _had_ followed my orders, Unit 1 and the surrounding neighborhood would have been even more badly damaged.”

“If you wanna kick me out, just do it already, Buffalo-butt,” Wilde muttered.

Bogo pretended he hadn’t heard that. “Wilde…” The Cape buffalo leaned over his desk. “Is there a particular reason you keep trying to negotiate with Labor pilots?”

The fox remained silent.

Bogo tried another tack. “Were you trying to protect Hopps? Save her the trouble of fighting?”

“No.”

That was prompt enough. Wilde was a hard mammal to read, but Bogo had no reason to doubt that one answer.

“What about the Labor-criminals? Are you trying to save _them_?”

More silence.

Bogo rubbed his head with his hoof. “Listen, Wilde. I can understand your reasoning, but it’s bad enough that Hopps is going crazy out there. The last thing any of us need is for her Backup to do the same.”

“It’s not like that,” snapped Wilde. “It’s Hopps who’s putting mammals’ lives at risk!”

“But it’s _you_ putting _yours_ at risk,” said Bogo. “As Unit 1’s Backup, it’s your job to keep Hopps from going off the rails; not the criminals.”

“I figure it’d be easier to spare having to set Hopps loose on them.”

A revealing answer, but less than Bogo would have liked. “Wilde, you’re not a police negotiator. Sooner or later, you’re going to encounter more mammals like that raccoon on Okavango Road who _won’t_ listen to reason. The fact is, if everyone had common sense, we wouldn’t need a police force, much less Zeeplabors.”

Bogo got up and walked to the window, briefly adjusting the venetian blinds. “That pine marten was a one-in-a-billion moment. I’ve been on the force long enough to know that there are far too many mammals who are utterly convinced they’re going to Hell no matter what they do, so they shut out the rest of the world and wallow in self-pity.”

“I’m… not sure where you’re going with this, sir,” said Wilde.

“It’s understandable – maybe even admirable – that you’re trying to save these mammals from themselves, but it’s not your job to do so. It’s our job to make sure they don’t drag the rest of the world to Hell with ‘em – make sure no one else follows in their footsteps.”

Bogo then turned to the fox with a piercing glare. “That also means understanding that what happens to you is _not_ an isolated event. There’s a Memorial Wall in Precinct 1 that proves this. If your name winds up on that wall, someday there _will_ be someone who will look at that name and feel for you – even if you don’t.”

Wilde tried to say something, but no words escaped his muzzle.

Bogo returned to his chair. “Now my other concern is your partnership with Hopps. As I’ve said, it’s your job as her Backup to make sure she doesn’t end up on that wall either, and to ensure she performs to the best of her ability. You don’t seem particularly willing to do so.”

Wilde’s sour tone returned. “What’s the point if she won’t listen?”

Bogo sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that. I don’t know what’s wrong between you, but I want you to keep trying. Like I said, no mammal’s an island; your actions – or inactions – could reflect badly on _her_ career as well as yours. Is that clear, _Officer_?”

“Y-yes, sir…”

“Hopps _can_ be a better pilot, so from now on, I’d appreciate it if you two tried to meet each other halfway – for the sake of your careers, for the mammals you’re _supposed_ to protect, and for the taxpayers’ dollars we’re now going to spend on repairing Unit 1 after that last deployment. Is understood?”

“Yes, sir…”

* * *

As Nick stepped out of the office, questions bounced around in his head. After that mention of the Memorial Wall, Nick had had the perfect opportunity to tell Bogo that a fox like him should leave the wall to the real cops and resign then and there.

So _why didn’t he_?!

And that mention of Hopps’ career – what did _he_ care if she got canned?! He’d told her himself that she could just go running back to Bunnyburrow. It wasn’t like she didn’t have a safety net if she got the boot.

Suddenly an all-too-familiar voice began ringing in his head. Would that stupid vixen just shut the hell up?!

He almost missed Virginia Lee Foxape passing him towards Bogo’s office.

* * *

“You want to discuss something, Lieutenant?” said Bogo as the opossum stepped into the office.

“Yes, sir,” said Lee. “It’s about Officer Hopps.”

* * *

[ _[OST1]_ ](https://youtu.be/DKS9BsRQYzs)

Judy was on her way to Ready Room 2 to drown her aggravation in carrot juice when her sensitive ears caught Lee mentioning her name.

Bogo was shutting the door, but that didn’t stop Judy from pressing her ear to the door.

* * *

“Now then, Fox-ape, what is it?”

“It’s pronounced ‘Folks-app,’ sir,” said Lee, back ramrod straight as her gaze bored into the wall behind Bogo as he sat back down. “And as I said, it’d be easier if you just called me Lee.”

“I’m too used to seeing your name on paper,” said Bogo. “Now, your concern with Officer Hopps?”

“It’s about her attitude, sir,” said Lee, clambering into the oversized chair in front of the desk.

“Oh?”

“Both in Okavango Road and in Animazon River Park, she disregarded orders from her superiors and her Backup,” said Lee. “She’s also repeatedly caused collateral damage, seeing nothing wrong with hurling a ten-ton Crabmammal at a high-end department store or with using an apartment block to cushion her fall. She also pulled a 38-millimeter revolver cannon in a cramped shopping district and charged into Animazon River Park without acknowledging the muddy terrain.”

“You think she’s too reckless then.”

“Reckless would be an understatement, sir.” Lee’s tone was firm as concrete. “The fact is, as long as Hopps is in Unit 1, she’s a threat to herself, to her fellow officers, and to civilians. I know it sounds harsh, but I believe it’s only a matter of time until her impetuousness has lethal consequences.”

Bogo raised an eyebrow. “That _is_ harsh. I suppose you have a solution for this?”

“I do,” said Lee. “I would recommend that Hopps be removed from her post as Forward – perhaps transferred out of Special Vehicles entirely. I can pilot Unit 1 either in the interim or on a permanent basis.”

* * *

Judy backed away from the door, breathing heavily, before making a break for the Ready Room.

This was not happening… This was _not_ happening…!

* * *

Bogo’s attention briefly turned to the door. Odd. Were those footsteps he’d just heard?

Dismissing it, he turned back to his second-in-command.

“I understand your logic,” he remarked. “But I’m not sure I want to shake the Division up just yet.”

Lee’s brow furrowed. “Why not, sir?”

“Lee, this is a very young Division,” said Bogo. “We’ve only had two deployments – of which you’ve only seen one – apart from you, none of us had experience with Zeeplabors; I don’t think I could wrap my head around their controls even if I _could_ fit in the cockpit. Even the Ingrowls themselves are rough around the edges. It may be too soon to judge Hopps based on just two deployments.”

Lee’s stare intensified. “Is that all, sir?”

“Not quite,” said Bogo, donning his half-moon glasses as he began typing into his desktop computer. “You took the ZPD Police Labor Aptitude Test, right?”

“Yes,” Lee nodded. “I took it when I was transferred to the ZPD.”

“Then look at this,” said Bogo, pivoting the monitor so that the opossum could see it. “These are the rankings of _all_ mammals who’ve taken the PLAT.”

  1. _M. Sanderson: 96.4%_
  2. _A. Polecatsky: 94.9%_
  3. _J. Hopps: 92.1%_
  4. _S. McTachy: 91.7%_
  5. _W. Hickory: 86.0%_
  6. _H. Hylander: 85.5_
  7. _V. Foxape: 85.4%_



Lee’s eyebrows shot up after seeing Hopps’ score.

“As you can see, Hopps is the only officer in the top five not with Division 1,” said Bogo. “The only reason Wanda Hickory is a reserve pilot is because the Department wants to avoid continually readjusting cockpits for a mammal her size.

“In the academy, Hopps’ instructors made a particular note of her ability to find unorthodox solutions to problems, and her PLAT instructors in particular were impressed with her control ability and finesse. So I know she _can_ be more careful; it’s just a question of how to get her to be careful more often.

“As for you, the Deerbrooke County Police have said over and over again that they were impressed with your leadership ability and your ability to keep cool under pressure. I’ve seen your record; it speaks of a mammal best suited for a command position. This Division has gotten the short end of the stick for just about everything else, so I want to make full use of the mammalpower I get – by placing them in the positions they’re best suited for.”

“With respect, sir, those are just test results,” said Lee. “There’s no substitute for in-the-field experience.”

“There isn’t,” said Bogo, taking off his glasses. “Which is why we shouldn’t judge Hopps based on two deployments. The question we _should_ be asking is whether or not she can grow beyond her recklessness. You saw that in Animazon River Park, she tried to relocate the conflict, so she’s _trying_ to do her job right at least.

“Now as I said, only three of us – me, you, and Clawhauser – have experience with the police, and only you have experience with law enforcement Labors. If this were a regular precinct, I’d have at least a few senior officers to help the new generation settle in. With Division 2, you’re probably the closest thing I have to that.” The Cape buffalo leaned back in his chair. “So I would appreciate it if you made an effort to try and encourage better behavior from Hopps yourself.”

“I understand, sir,” said Lee. “But I can’t be sure she’ll listen.”

Bogo sighed. “Lee, at the very least, I need you to try.”

Lee took a deep breath in. “Is that your final word on the matter?”

“For the time being, yes.”

“Very well, sir.” Lee saluted and turned to the door.

She tried to hide it, but Bogo noticed that the opossum’s fist was clenched as she left.

* * *

When the mechanics’ ‘shopping platoon’ came back from the Ewe-Mart, Benjamin Clawhauser had offered to shuttle Division 2’s share of food up to Ready Room 2.

He was just stocking the fridge when Judy Hopps came dashing in. The little bunny looked dejected, ears drooping, eyes glazed over and angled downward as she walked over to her desk and laid her head on her arms.

“Judy?” Ben was careful to use the rabbit’s first name as he closed the fridge door. “What’s wrong?”

* * *

“I can’t help but wonder,” said Captain Polecatsky. “Why’d you put Hopps and Wilde together in the first place?”

“I was hoping Hopps’s dedication would rub off on Wilde,” grumbled Bogo. “Now I’m wondering if it’s Wilde that needs to rub off on Hopps.”

“Opposites attract, hm?” quipped the skunk. “So why d’you think things aren’t working out?”

“Well, even if I didn’t know it…” Bogo glanced over the files in his hands. “Wilde and Fox-ape- Wilde and _Lee_ – have said that Hopps seems to close herself off when on deployment – from Wilde in particular.”

Polecatsky cradled her head in her hands. “It may be time to use that secret weapon I left you…”

“What secret weapon?”

“ _Captain Bogo_!” Benjamin Clawhauser suddenly burst into the office.

“What is it, Clawhauser?!” grumbled Bogo.

The portly cheetah suddenly stood to attention. “P- _please_ don’t do this, sir! I know Hopps hasn’t been the most reliable cop in the world, but I think-“

“Slow down, Clawhauser!” Bogo barked. “What shouldn’t I do?”

“Well…” Clawhauser studied the floor. “Hopps came and told me she’d overheard you talking with Lee about reassigning her.”

Bogo buried his head in his hoof. “Of course she did…” The massive buffalo sighed. “Clawhauser, Lieutenant Lee’s suggestion that Hopps be reassigned was just that – a suggestion! There are no plans to reassign anyone at the moment.”

“Oh…” Clawhauser seemed to deflate even more.

“Have you or Hopps told anyone about this conversation?”

The cheetah shook his head. “No. Hopps came straight to me as far as I know…”

Bogo sighed. “I’ll straighten things out with her later. In the meantime, she needn’t worry. Unless she makes a colossal screw-up, she’s not going anywhere.”

“Y-you don’t sound that sure, sir…”

Damn. Clawhauser was more observant than Bogo figured. “The point is-“

Suddenly Polecatsky coughed loudly. Bogo turned to see the skunk give a pointed head-tilt towards Clawhauser.

Bogo remembered what he and Polecatsky had been talking about earlier. “Clawhauser, are you on good terms with Hopps and Wilde?”

“Not much…” Clawhauser rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve talked a bit with Judy- _Hopps_ , but not about work. Wilde doesn’t talk much at all to be honest.”

“Well there might be something you can do,” said Bogo, sitting up straight in his chair. “Wilde at least wants to keep property damage down, but doesn’t seem interested in actually backing Unit 1 up. Hopps on the other hand is _too_ motivated – she’s focused, she gets a bad case of tunnel vision on the job. Ideally, one would balance out the other, but they don’t even talk to one another. I want to know why and, more importantly, how I can fix that.

“Now, as Unit 1’s carrier driver, you’re closest to them professionally. I’d appreciate it if you could help those two see eye to eye more.”

Clawhauser stiffened. “Sir, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they’re _not_ on the best of terms at the moment…”

Bogo glared at the cheetah. “Clawhauser, I’m not asking you to get them married. Just make sure they don’t get each other killed! Now get to it!”

“Y-yes, sir!”

With that, the cheetah stepped out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Scheming" ("Sakuryaku") - from _Earth Defense Dai-Guard_


	4. "Should've brought some donuts..."

Okay, Benjamin Frederick Clawhauser.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (okay, you weren’t given much choice… and you’ve already accepted it) is to figure out what’s going wrong between Hopps and Wilde. If you fail, this partnership will self-destruct in five days… one day? A week? A month? Bogo hadn’t given him much of a time frame.

Good luck, Ben…

Taking a deep breath in, Clawhauser walked to the hangar, where he soon noticed his targets from the catwalk that led from the offices.

Nick and Judy were walking toward one another. As soon as they came near one another though, they glanced at each other, then altered course so they passed each other by a considerable distance.

Clawhauser grimaced, screwing his courage to the sticking-point, memories of childhood dinners flashing through his mind.

From his vantage point, the cheetah then noticed Judy exchange a few words with Joanna Namakoro. The hyena had often talked with Judy about Unit 1. Maybe she was a good place to start?

Suddenly, Captain Bogo’s bellowing voice rang in Clawhauser’s ears.

“ _Hopps_!” The Buffalo pointed to the door out the hangar. Must be to set the record straight about the ‘reassignment’ fiasco.

As Judy moved towards the stairs up to the catwalk, Clawhauser moved past her and approached Joanna. “Uh… hi?” He waved meekly.

Joanna raised an eyebrow. “Hi…?”

Ben twiddled his thumbs. “So… What did Hopps want to talk about?”

“Just how soon we were gonna get that arm back on,” said Joanna, gesturing to where Unit 1’s severed arm lay in front of the Labor itself.

“Nothing… personal?” Clawhauser’s face contorted. He didn’t like prying.

“Nooooo…?”

“Nothing about Wilde?”

“No?” The hyena sighed. “Okay, what’s this about?”

Ben sighed and told Joanna about Judy’s overhearing Lee and Bogo, then about Bogo’s request. “I’m worried she’ll be out of a job at this rate.”

“That sucks…” said Joanna. “But why are you interested?”

The cheetah put his hands in his pockets. “I… I just don’t like it when mammals fight. Especially when they should be close to one another.”

Ben then shook his head. “The point is, I wanted to know if you had any idea why Hopps and Wilde aren’t getting along.”

“Couldn’t tell ya about Wilde…” said Joanna. “But Judy sounded jealous of Nick. Back then I thought she was just cheesed off about missing the Labor-kill twice in a row, but now I dunno… I get the feeling there’s something else between ‘em.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno,” said Joanna. “You’d have to ask her – or him. But my Mom has a saying; ‘When a salt-shaker picks a fight with a pepper mill, ten years later you’ll _still_ be picking up the paprika!’”

Ben stared. “…What does that mean?”

“Search me.” The hyena shrugged. “It just sounded fitting. Either way, you’ll wanna hear it straight from the little guys’ mouths.”

“Alright, thanks anyway,” Clawhauser sighed, turning away from Joanna to head back to the Ready Room.

“Clawhauser?” said Joanna, prompting the cheetah to look back at her. “Just so you know, I’m rootin’ for ya. From what I hear, Wilde’s more careful. If Judy listened to him, it’s save us techs this kind of headache.” She gestured to Unit 1, in all its battered, dented, mud-covered, one-armed glory. “So if ya need any help, you only need to ask.”

“Thanks,” said Ben.

* * *

When Clawhauser returned to Ready Room 2, he was surprised to find only Earl Beaverbrook sitting there, his nose in a copy of _Great Pawcific Ocean Liners_.

“Where’d everybody go?” said Clawhauser.

“Oh, Lee’s gone jogging.” Beaverbrook adjusted his glasses. “Hylander went with her. I think Captain Bogo’s talking with Hopps. Don’t know where Wilde’s gone off to.”

Clawhauser was about to go find Wilde when Judy squeezed past him into the room.

“Oh, I was just looking for you,” said Clawhauser, smiling down at the rabbit.

“Bogo says nobody’s getting reassigned,” Judy sighed as she got behind her desk, head cradled in her hands. “Am I _really_ that bad?”

Clawhauser and Beaverbrook exchanged a fearful glance. Neither of them wanted to answer the question. Ben in particular knew that if he said yes, Judy would take offense, but if he said no, she’d think it was just empty reassurance.

Beaverbrook wound up taking the initiative. “Wilde’s been trying to keep down the collateral damage. Maybe you could ask him for a few pointers?”

“Wilde…” Judy huffed, trailing off as she stared at the wall in front of her.

Once again, Beaverbrook beat Ben to the punch. “Something wrong with him?”

“You mean besides the fact that he’s _intentionally_ slacking off despite all the effort I put in? Not much, really!” Judy rolled her eyes.

“Intentionally?” said Clawhauser. “You don’t mean that, right?”

“Well, _he_ does,” Judy turned her swivel chair around to face Clawhauser and Beaverbrook. “He told me himself he was trying to get kicked off the force.”

Clawhauser and Beaverbrook exchanged a look of disbelief.

“Why would he do that?” said Ben.

“He said his being here was a mistake.” Judy eyed the floor. “Said he can only be a ‘sly fox.’”

“Why not quit then?” said Beaverbrook.

Judy snorted. “Ask him!”

Clawhauser made a mental note to do just that.

Beaverbrook shrugged. “Maybe he _does_ like it here?”

Now it was Clawhauser and Judy that exchanged a look of confusion.

“Maybe deep down, he wants to be a part of this?” continued Beaverbrook. “I mean, why else would he join in the first place?”

“But now that he’s here, why’s he trying to get out?!” Judy threw up her hands. “I’ve wanted to be a cop my whole life! I worked my tail off to here, but Wilde just wants all that effort and throw it down the toilet?!”

The rabbit realized how much her voice had raised and eased up. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I joined the force to make the world a better place. You don’t become a cop if you don’t want to help mammals. If Wilde can’t understand that, he should cut the nonsense and resign now.”

Judy then got up from her desk and sauntered out the door. Clawhauser thought of going after her, but decided to give her some space first.

So Judy took Wilde’s behavior as an insult. Enlightening, but only half the story. Now for the other half...

“Hey, Beaverbrook? Earl? Uh…?”

“Earl, Beaverbrook, makes no difference,” said Beaverbrook. “Some mammals still call me Max after my middle name, but not so much these days.”

“Thanks Earl,” said Clawhauser. “I was just wondering, how’d you figure that about Wilde?”

“Figure what?”

“That deep down, he wants to be a cop?”

The beaver clenched his buckteeth. “I just… I just figured that- You don’t get through the academy if you don’t put some hustle into it, right?”

“Good point…” Ben stroked his chin. Somehow though, he wasn’t satisfied by that answer. “Why try and get kicked out though?”

“Well…” Beaverbrook cut himself short, stroked his own chin, removed a popsicle stick from his pocket, and began chewing it in thought.

Ben sat as his own desk and sighed. Wilde was an enigma to be sure. He’d have to approach him directly.

* * *

But by this point, Wilde had proven to be a master at evasion – particular when any degree of work needed to be done.

Thankfully, one of the mechanics – a well-toned coyote – was able to point out the fox’s location, and soon he found himself scanning the riprap between the field and the Bay before finding Wilde sitting in his lawn chair, fishing as usual.

“Hey, uh… Nick?” Ben waved nervously. “Is it okay if I call you Nick?”

“Okay by me, Benjy,” Wilde chuckled.

“Okay,” Clawhauser had heard Nick call Judy ‘Carrots,’ Bogo ‘Buffalo-butt,’ and Hylander ‘Blunderbuss,’ so ‘Benjy’ didn’t feel that bad in comparison. It reminded him of living with his little brother.

The cheetah sat down cross-legged beside Nick’s lawn chair. “So… No bites?”

Nick smirked under his wayfarers. “Not a one.”

A long silence followed.

“Should’ve brought out some donuts…” Clawhauser murmured.

“Would’ve helped, yeah.”

More silence.

Clawhauser considered his options before deciding on the direct approach. “Are-are you really trying to get kicked off the force?” he almost whispered.

“Mmm-hmm.” Nick nodded, without turning away from the bay.

“Why? I mean, we’re alright, aren’t we?”

“Oh, you are.” Clawhauser wished the fox would take those sunglasses off so he could read Nick’s expression. “It’s just that they’ll give me the boot sooner or later, so I figured, why not sooner?”

“Why would they give you the boot?”

“Tell me, Benjy,” said Nick. “How often have you heard the words ‘trustworthy’ and ‘fox’ used unironically in the same sentence?”

Ben didn’t have an answer.

“Not often,” said Nick. “Sooner or later, they’re gonna push me out.”

“You got through the academy, didn’t you?” said Clawhauser, forcing a smile.

“Please.” Nick’s tone was oddly dissonant. “I got through the academy ‘cause there weren’t enough small mammals with Labor certification who signed up. I figure I’m just a placeholder until someone better qualified gets in. Then they’ll probably bump me down to parking duty, or find some other way of shoving me out. I figure that if I get kicked out first, it’ll spare me purgatory in a clown vest.”

“Th-they wouldn’t do that, would they?!” Ben sputtered.

“Why not?” said Nick. “The whole Division’s a joke, really. Just ask Captain Buffalo-butt. No one knows it more than him.”

“Why?”

“Chief Swinton likes to say Bogo’s a well-respected officer, but really, she and the rest of the Old Guard can’t stand the sight of him, so they put him out here where they figure he can’t do any damage except to his own credibility.”

“Why’s that?”

Through the weeds came Judy Hopps. She looked puzzled at what Nick had just said. Ben figured she was trying to get Nick to stop fishing again.

“It’s like this, Carrots.” Nick took his sunglasses off at last. “You know the Barry Wallace Murder?”

Ben and Judy both looked at each other. The murder of Barry Wallace – a wallaby liquor store owner – had been highly publicized thanks to its outcome. It had started almost a year ago, when Wallace had been found garroted to death. After the Lieutenant in charge of the case, Owen Humperdink, had been seemingly thwarted at every turn after evidence began disappearing mysteriously, a frustrated Adrian Bogo – then Captain of Precinct 7 – had stepped in personally. Bogo had rigorously examined the disappearance of the evidence before finally arresting Lieutenant Humperdink himself for attempting to pervert the course of justice.

It had turned out that Humperdink had committed the murder. Wallace had discovered the camel Lieutenant and some officer friends of his had been running a _de facto_ protection racket, threatening to report trumped-up health and safety violations against eateries if they didn’t serve the officers for free. Wallace had tried blackmailing Humperdink, but the camel murdered him instead.

“But the Wallace case was one of Bogo’s biggest successes,” said Judy.

“And one of the ZPD’s biggest scandals,” said Nick. “It’s never good for the force when a cop gets a murder rap, especially when said cop’s dad is a Borough Chief. You’ll remember Humperdink Sr. retired early after his son was convicted.

“Anyway, Swinton and the Old Guard were in a tough spot as it was, so you can imagine their reactions when Bogo gets caught in a press conference saying that no one is above the law – ‘no matter their position, no matter their connections.’”

Judy scowled, foot thumping. “So? What’s wrong with a cop believing in Rule of Law?”

“Carrots, this is the Old Guard we’re talking about,” chuckled Nick. “The last thing they want is a crusader cop making them look like idiots. So they figure Buffalo-butt’s Kryptonite. But thanks to the case, he’s _popular_ Kryptonite, so they can’t exactly punish him.

“So what they do is they send him over here – as far away from Precinct 1 as they can get him. Here, he’s stuck between Anna Polecatsky’s rising star and Bureau Chief Buckminster’s credit-nabbing, and he can’t interfere in police investigations.”

Judy’s nose twitched. “So Bogo’s here because he’s _too_ good a cop?”

“In a nutshell.” Nick’s attention turned to his fishing pole. “Zootopia’s a funny place, Carrots. Things like the city’s Old Guards are what happen when you put a bunch of the businessmammals, career politicians, and other vested interests together in one _roo-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-!_ ”

The sound of whizzing greeted Ben’s ears and Nick struggled to contain the fishing pole in his paws. The fox looked about to fall off the riprap when Ben grabbed Nick by the shoulders. The three of them were strong enough to yank an impressive cod out of the water.

“What is it with you and the fish, fluff?” groaned Nick, still in Clawhauser’s arms. “Three times you’ve darkened my door, and each time I get a big bite like this.” Clawhauser put Nick down as they pulled the fish in. “You some kind of fish whisperer?”

Judy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m subliminally telling the fish to swallow your cheap bait to make sure you’re actually contributing to the unit.”

[ _[OST1]_ ](https://youtu.be/-SY70ORopyg)

She then stared at the cod as Clawhauser stuffed it in the cooler beside Nick’s chair. “Still, it’s weird. I did a bit of catch-and-release in Bunnyburrow, and I never had this kind of luck.”

“Oh yeah!” Clawhauser saw an opening for small talk. “I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s it like out there – in Bunnyburrow, I mean?”

“Oh, Bunnyburrow? Pretty… well…” Judy sat down and rested her chin on her knees as she stared out onto the Bay. “Pretty boring, honestly. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and all. I’d just rather have some excitement in my life.”

“’Excitement’ would be an understatement, Fluff, given how you’re stomping around the place in Unit 1,” said Nick, casting another hook into the bay.

Clawhauser burst in before Judy could retort. “ _So!_ What’s your family like?”

“Oh, we’re just farmers for the most part, but we’ve done pretty well for ourselves. We bring in plenty of carrots, but we deal in a bunch of other stuff too – there’s potatoes, cabbages, strawberries…”

“How ‘bout blueberries?” Nick piped up.

“Yeah. Why?”

“No reason.” Nick readjusted his wayfarers.

Ben pressed further. “Any brothers or sisters?”

Judy gave a sly grin. “Clawhauser, I’m a bunny. Is that a trick question?”

“Oh, uh…”

Judy promptly took out her phone and proceeded to enthusiastically introduce in rapid succession more siblings than the other two mammals could count.

“Hopps! Hopps! Hopps!” Ben held up his hands. “How many siblings do you have?!”

“Oh…” Judy tilted her head in thought. “About 307…”

“Three-hundred-and-seven?!” Ben and Nick chorused.

“Oh, that’s just communally,” said Judy. Only twenty-six of them are actual blood siblings. The rest are mostly cousins – plus the odd niece or nephew.”

“Oh…” Ben found growing up with even twenty-five brothers and sisters a bit much. “You’re one of the older kits, right?”

“Yep. Only five older than me.”

 _Only_ five?

“So you’ve got big sister privileges?” Ben chuckled, fondly remembering cubhood with his own little brother.

“You bet,” said Judy. “Of course, Junior would beg to differ.”

“Junior?”

“Oh, Stu Jr.” Judy showed her phone again, this time showing a rabbit that looked eerily like a male version of Judy standing beside a gangly-looking Labor. “He’s the oldest boy. He likes to say he’s the buck of the house, but I’m technically older than he is.”

“Hang on, what’s that?” Nick suddenly seemed interested in the photo. “Is that a farming Labor?”

“Oh yeah.” Judy shifted to a photo of an older, pudgier male rabbit – Judy’s father, Ben guessed – standing proudly with the Labor in the background. “That’s our Bumpacrop. Dad got him about a year-and-a-half ago. I got experience working with Labors on him.”

The bipedal agricultural Labor was a mustard-yellow color, with long, spindly arms, large lights on top, and an open cockpit, beneath which the word ‘CHARLIE’ could be made out. A grain platform hung from its abdomen.

“Charlie?” Nick raised an eyebrow.

Judy sighed. “That’s the pet name my Dad gave him.”

“Awww!” Ben couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah, my Dad’s the sentimental type,” Judy chuckled as she looked at the photo herself. “He likes to name things like tractors or combines, so naming a Labor was the next logical step.”

“Heh. Now I’m wondering what you’d call Unit 1.” That’s it, Ben. Focus on what binds them all together. “Big guy kinda looks like a Dennis, don’t you think?”

“No…” Judy mused. “Not really seeing it. Gotta be more ‘fights-for-justice’ than that… Alphonse, maybe?”

“ _No_!”

Judy and Ben suddenly turned to Nick, startled by his panicked outburst.

The fox quickly collected himself. “I mean… I’ve just had… an _acquaintance_ named Alphonse that I’ve had some bad run-ins with in the past.”

“Well, what do _you_ think would be a good name?” Ben asked Nick.

“Hmmm…” Nick exaggeratedly rubbed his chin. “How ‘bout ‘Your Name Here’?”

Clawhauser giggled. Judy rolled her eyes. “Ha, ha, ha.”

“How about ‘CAUTION: INCOMING BUNNY’?”

“Nick…!” Judy growled.

“Madam, we’re naming a hunk of metal.” Nick feigned being offended. “I wouldn’t _dream_ of making light of this.”

Bast almighty, getting these two to cooperate was hard. Still, Ben found an opportunity and pounced. “C’mon, Nick,” he urged. “What’s a good name for a ‘justice’ kinda guy?”

“Well, Robin, maybe…” Nick muttered as he cast his attention back to his fishing pole.

“Robin?”

“Forget I said anything.” Nick seemed eager to change the subject all of a sudden.

“Something wrong?” said Ben, hoping he hadn’t gone _too_ far to get a handle on Nick.

“It’s just embarrassing is all,” Nick sighed. “When I was a kit, I was raised on stories of Robin of Foxley.”

“Oh…!”

“My Dad was a big fan, and my Mom liked to joke that she was a descendant of Robin and Marian – and I think she was a Brian Redfurred fangirl. Anyway, that’s why ‘Robin’ popped into my mind.”

A silence hung over the three officers until Nick burst out laughing.

“Makes no sense anyway.” The fox gave a wan smile as he took off his sunglasses. “Naming a cop Labor after an outlaw…”

Judy smirked. “At least Robin of Foxley got off his lazy tail and did something for his fellow mammal.”

Nick stared at Judy before putting his Wayfarers back on and turning back to his fishing. “Guess you’re right…”

Ben and Judy glanced at one another, not sure what to make of this display.

Before either of them could press any further, Nick immediately hooked onto something big again. Ben and Judy rushed to hold the fox down before he got pulled into the water.

“This has gotta be a piece of junk or something!” Nick grunted. “I never get this lucky twice!”

The three officers held Nick down until he reeled his load in. Indeed, his hook had latched onto an old hubcap, but the policemammals were left slack-jawed at the rather large octopus clutching onto it.

“What the cuss?!” Nick muttered.

* * *

Ben walked back into the hangar. Nick promptly dashed beside him to the washrooms, face black with ink after the unruly cephalopod had squirted him to make its getaway. Funny how it had made a break for it the moment they'd mentioned calamari…

Now Ben’s attention turned back to his ‘mission.’ As he pondered what to do with the information he’d gleaned today, a voice came behind him that sent a shiver down to the tip of his tail.

“Benjamin Clawhauser, you’re a mad genius!”

* * *

After Nick finally got the ink off his face, he made his way to join Judy and Ben in Ready Room 2.

As soon as he entered the room though, an announcement from Chief Mechanic Camazotz made its way over the PA system.

 _“Now hear this, ya bums! Since things have been getting_ messy _of late, I’m instituting a new policy. Captain Polecatsky and Captain Bogo have both agreed with me that from now on, Zeeplabor Forwards and Backups are required to take over for the mechanics when it comes to Labor cleaning and repainting.”_

“What?!” chorused several voices in the Ready Room, but their voices were soon drowned out by cheers coming from the mechanics.

Nick stared at the ceiling. Thanks a _lot_ , universe…

* * *

[ _[OST2]_ ](https://youtu.be/uJMP_HXsOlE)

At the end of the (thankfully deployment-less) day, Nick made his way out of the hangar. His eyes chanced to glance up at Unit 1, which (mercifully) had been cleared of mud when Camazotz made her announcement. Soon, he noticed something on the machine’s chest area below the neck.

“Dumb bunny…” the fox muttered as he continued on his way.

There, on Unit 1’s left-hand side, between its primary and secondary hatches, was one word, painting in a brush script:

**_Robin_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..and now the title of this 'episode' makes sense at last! "Robin of Foxley" is - as you've probably guessed - the Zootopian equivalent of Robin of Loxley, aka. Robin Hood. In all honesty, I'm surprised no one's made that pun already!
> 
> Similarly, Brian Redfurred is a reference to the late Brian Bedford, Robin Hood's voice actor in the 1973 Disney movie.
> 
>   
> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Noa's Repose" ("Noa no Hitorigoto") - from the _Patlabor - The Mobile Police_ TV series (I think)
> 
> 2) Kenji Kawai - "Knock on the Tomorrow II" - from the _Patlabor - the Mobile Police_ TV series


	5. "Don't you have some... CLEANING to do?"

Judy Hopps usually greeted each morning with enthusiasm, but since arriving at SV2, it felt like getting out of bed each morning felt harder and harder with each new layer of aggravation.

Recently she’d rewatched a favorite movie – _Avitopia_ – to cheer her up, but then made the mistake of looking on Preddit to see what the internet had to say about the movie. There, she found a post the pointed out major character development flaws to the point where Judy found it difficult to look at _Avitopia_ the same way.

It reminded her of what Wilde had said after the Okavango Road deployment. Sure, she tended to charge in without thinking, but Judy had always feared that if she slowed down in pursuing her goals – even for a moment – she’d never get moving again. ‘The Centipede’s Dilemma,’ they called it; if Judy stopped to think about _how_ she did her job, she’d never actually be able to _do_ it.

Ah, Frith… Hopefully she wasn’t running into the Centipede’s dilemma just by thinking about what had happened.

Now, as she entered the hangar, a voice caught her from above.

“And just where do you think _you’re_ going?”

The sound of leather wings greeted Judy’s long ears as SV2’s Chief Mechanic fluttered down in front of her. To Judy’s chagrin, Lucy Camazotz was… smiling?

This was not good.

“Uh, I’m heading to the Ready Room?” said Judy. “I’m on duty…?”

“Don’t you have some… _cleaning_ to do?” The fanged grin grew wider and wider. Frith almighty, bats had terrifying grins! Judy hated to imagine what look she had behind her aviators’ sunglasses.

The bunny glanced toward Unit 1 – alias Robin. “Uh, Unit 1’s clean already…” It certainly looked like all the Animazon River mud had been cleared off the Ingrowl.

“Yeah, we got most of it off,” said Camazotz. “But just like us mammals, Labors always have those hard-to-reach places. I figured a couple of shorties like you and bottlebrush-butt- ah, speak of the devil!”

The bat’s grin grew even wider as she turned to Nick Wilde, who was now sauntering into the hangar.

“C’mere, Wilde,” Camazotz called to the puzzled fox. “I was just reminding your partner here that you two have some work to do on your Labor’s hard-to-reach areas. Joanna!”

Joanna Namakoro promptly walked up, with a toothy grin that matched her bat superior’s. The hyena handed Judy a hosepipe and Wilde a bottle of vehicle shampoo.

Judy’s nose twitched as she took the hose. _Joanna, you turncoat!_

“And who knows?” Camazotz continued. “Maybe us techs missed a spot or two elsewhere. Best get the whole dang things scrubbed down to be sure.”

“Let me get this straight…?” Wilde pinched the bridge of his muzzle. “You want us to wash down an eight-meter Ingrowl that you’ve already hosed off?!”

“Yes!” You’d think the bat’s grin would split her head open at this rate.

Judy thought herself sufficiently ‘encouraged’ by the Chief Mechanic, but Wilde seemed to have more guts for once. “Well, last I checked, you aren’t in our direct line of command, so I don’t think-“

Camazotz’s grin vanished in a heartbeat as she lifted a wing to adjust her sunglasses so that the glare from the sun outside the hangar shone directly in Wilde’s face.

“Where do we start?” murmured Wilde.

* * *

“So… How do we do this?” Wilde groaned as he and Judy looked up at Unit 1’s massive form.

“We could start from the feet and work our way up,” Judy murmured.

Wilde stared at the Labor a little longer before shaking his head. “Nah, I say we work from the top down.”

Judy’s foot began to stamp. “What’s the difference?”

Wilde shrugged. “If we work from the top down, it’ll drip down and do half the work for us.”

“You sure it works like that?” Judy’s nose twitched.

“Okay, we’ll settle it like this,” Wilde sighed as he took a coin out of his pocket. “Heads we do top down, tails the feet up.”

Wilde flipped the coin before Judy could react. The fox tried to catch the coin in midair, but knocked it in the air by accident. The coin then fell into Judy’s collar, lodging between her uniform and her neck fur.

Wilde’s head tilted. “That… has never happened before.”

* * *

The two eventually decided that since the coin landed with ‘heads’ facing outward, they’d wash Unit 1 from the top down. Now they stood atop one of the maintenance platforms, at eye level with the Ingrowl.

“So, who does the actual hosing?” said Wilde.

“ _I_ will.” Judy just grabbed the hose from Wilde’s paws and began pulling the trigger on its sprayer fitting. The fitting was big cat-sized, so Judy had to use both hands just to hold it. But only a trickle of water came out.

“This thing jammed?” grumbled Judy, batting at the fitting.

As the rabbit tried to persuade the water to come out, Wilde clambered down the ladder to where the hose connected to the building’s water supply.

There, he noticed that the tap wasn’t turned on all the way, so the fox nonchalantly turned up the pressure.

Suddenly he heard a cry come from above him. He ran back to see Judy thoroughly soaked, trying to wrangle a writhing hose.

Wilde laughed; he couldn’t help it.

The vulpine soon regretted this, for he soon saw the drenched, furious rabbit point the nozzle in his direction…

* * *

After hosing down ‘Robin,’ the next step was applying the vehicle shampoo.

“You can count yourself lucky your tail’s so short,” Wilde grumbled, still a little damp as the two officers applied shampoo to Unit 1’s chest. “It takes forever to dry out fox tails.”

“Maybe you should just quit the force now and spare us the whining,” Judy muttered.

“Oh, would that I could…” Wilde grumbled.

Judy raised an eyebrow as she looked over to Wilde. “Why can’t you?”

“Blame _Robin_ here,” Wilde muttered.

“Robin?”

“Uh-huh,” Wilde muttered. “Look at it this way; Robin’s a top-of-the-line Labor. Bogo even called the Ingrowls ‘not-quite-prototypes.’ My job basically _requires_ me to know them like the back of my paw, right?”

“Uh-huh…?”

“So how would it look like for me – coming from a historically shifty species – to quit so soon after the Division forms, but _after_ I’ve seen how the Ingrowl works?”

Judy tilted her head. “I… don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“Two words, Carrots; _industrial espionage_ ,” said Wilde, pointing to Judy with his bottle of shampoo. “Even if the ZPD didn’t think anything was weird about me leaving so soon, Inaba would think I was planning to sell what I knew about the Ingrowl to a rival company.”

Judy’s jaw dropped. “Isn’t that a little paranoid?”

“A little paranoia’s a good thing to have in this world,” said Wilde, returning to applying shampoo. “Especially when it comes to the tech industry. Megafauna Enterprises practically has their own private police force to protect company assets.”

“Oh come on,” Judy chuckled. “Now you’re pulling my leg.”

“Oh, it’s real,” said Wilde, staring at his shampoo-laden rag for a second. “I’ve heard stuff about what they use some of their fancy Growl-Bears for. I.H.I.’s not _as_ uptight about company secrets as Megafauna, but I’m not taking any chances.”

Judy began thrashing her rag up and down Unit 1’s abdomen. “So you think it’s easier to just kicked off the force?”

“Pretty much,” said Wilde. “This way I’ll have a reason for leaving that I.H.I. could believe.”

[ _[OST1]_ ](https://youtu.be/YqzyJv8dlcQ)

Judy’s frenetic wiping slowed as a smile found its way onto her muzzle. “Well, you’d have to actually get fired first…”

Nick raised an eyebrow and as he turned to face Judy. “May we share the joke?”

“If you didn’t want to do your job, why’d you talk down that pine marten?”

Wilde’s ears folded back.

Judy continued, “Why’d you stick your neck out for me and that pine marten back in the Rainforest District if you just wanted to get out?”

Wilde’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Judy smirked as she went in for the kill. “If you think I’m bad at doing my job, I’d say you’re worse at _not_ not doing yours.”

By now, Wilde had frozen stiff, utterly lost for words.

Judy’s smirk grew. Today was looking up already.

However, the fox collected himself before she could hammer her point in further. “I think we’re done with this section. Let’s keep going lower.”

* * *

“WHAT WAS THAT?” Judy yelled as she switched off her leaf blower.

Wilde switched off his own leaf blower so Judy could hear him. “I said they ought to make an automatic Labor-washer – like they do with cars.”

“That’d help…” Judy muttered thoughtfully.

“The city’d never go for it though. They’re cheapskates as it is.”

Judy sighed. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to be a bit more positive.”

“Well, no city can top Coop’s burgers….”

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” said Judy, only half-jokingly.

“’Course, ol’ Coop’s not getting any younger. Dunno what’ll happen when he retires…” Wilde switched his leafblower back on and resumed drying the Labor.

Judy rolled her eyes over the noise. “You must be a riot at parties…” she muttered.

* * *

“Hey, Carrots?” Wilde raised an eyebrow as he peered around the front of Unit 1’s read to where Judy was waxing the other side. “Is it me, or have we not found _any_ dirt on this thing – even in the hard-to-reach places?”

“That’s right!” Judy’s ears shot up. “So all this time, Camazotz was… _Rrrrgh!_ ”

“Gotta hand it to her, that bat had me going,” Wilde murmured. “She’d make an interesting salesmammal – ‘Buy these encyclopedias – or I’ll kill you in your sleep’!”

“I shouldn’t wonder,” Judy grumbled. “You want to bring it up with her?”

“ _Oh_ no!” Wilde shook his head. “Forwards get the risky stuff – and they have to listen to the Backup, so _you_ do it!”

“We only get the risky stuff because we’re in the Labors,” Judy huffed.

“Good point,” Wilde remarked, that familiar smirk forming on his muzzle. “So why don’t you talk to her from inside Robin?”

The mental image of Unit 1 talking down to the relatively tiny Chief Mechanic was enough to make Judy laugh at one Wilde’s jokes for the first time.

Little did she know that the subject of their conversation was hanging from the rafters above them.

 _Please_ , Lucy Camazotz thought with a smirk. She knew the Ingrowls like the back of her wing. She’d find a way into the cockpit before Hopps could get a word in edgewise.

* * *

“You did good,” remarked Earl Beaverbrook as he looked up at where Hopps and Wilde were still cleaning off Unit 1.

“Aw, I didn’t really do all that much,” murmured Benjamin Clawhauser. “All I did was talk to them.”

“Well, you did _something_ right, eh?” said Beaverbrook, chewing on one of his popsicle sticks. “They were at each others throats just yesterday. _Now_ look at ‘em! Wilde in particular. Didn’t think you get to his creamy filling like that, eh?”

“Creamy filling?”

“Like a cannoli,” said Beaverbrook. “You know, hard on the outside, soft and creamy on the inside?”

“Huh…” Clawhauser pondered, distracted briefly by the sound of his stomach growling. “Wait, how’d you figure that out?”

“Figure what out?”

“That Wilde was like that.”

“Uh… Wild guess!” The popsicle stick fell out of Beaverbrook’s mouth. “Heh-heh. _Wilde_ guess?” Beaverbrook edged away from the portly cheetah. “Might see how Lee and Hylander are doing. See ya!”

Clawhauser scratched his head. What was up with that little beaver?

Still, Ben was glad Hopps and Wilde were getting along better. It always felt better seeing everyone getting along.

Only question was, would these good times last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
> 1) Disney Peaceful Piano - "Try Everything" (original by Shakira)


	6. “Second-biggest mistake I ever made…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun side note, the day this chapter was originally released, August 10, 2018, was...
> 
> (cue drumroll)
> 
> **HAPPY 30th ANNIVERSARY, _PATLABOR_!**
> 
> So yeah! I figured I had to get the lead out so that I could upload this chapter today!
> 
> It's particularly notable because a new show, _Patlabor EZY_ , may be on the cards for the future! A producer has been announced, but there's a lot of details missing. More may come in future though!
> 
> In any case, it may prove to be a good time to get into _Patlabor_!

“Not sure what happened,” Captain Bogo remarked, idly drumming his hoof-fingers on his desk. “But I’ll admit, Hopps and Wilde don’t look set to murder each other anymore.”

“I told you Clawhauser was an asset,” purred Captain Polecatsky. “Before he went to you, he was practically Division 1’s resident therapist.”

“Well I’m not sure how long this will last,” said Bogo, staring at the ceiling. “They say no plan survives contact with the enemy – and I don’t like playing mind games with my officers.”

“The mind games were on Lucy, not Clawhauser,” said Polecatsky. “Still, you really think it could be that bad.”

“I’m not one to take chances,” huffed Bogo. “What’s more, Lucy’s main concern is the Labors; I’m not sure how good she is with their pilots.”

The buffalo sighed and glanced out the window at the bay. “Still, I could see Clawhauser being an asset at a regular precinct. _Him_ I can get a handle on.”

Polecatsky frowned. “You miss being out there, don’t you?”

“At least in a regular precinct, I’d have some idea what I was doing,” muttered Bogo.

“You’ve done well enough, given the givens,” said the skunk. “And it’s not like I don’t feel out of place either.”

“How so?”

“I was pretty much press-ganged into the ZPD.” Polecatsky began stroking her tail. “It’s been a few years, but I still feel like I don’t quite fit in. Hell, maybe I should be glad this isn’t a real precinct. Quentin caught Lorna – my eldest – watching a cop show past her bedtime a week ago. Now she keeps asking me things about police procedure that I still can’t wrap my head around.”

Bogo snorted. “Your daughter’s lucky there aren’t any TV shows about Zeeplabor Divisions if what they’ve done with regular precincts is any indication.”

“The point is, I’m glad you’re here, Adrian.” Polecatsky smiled at her fellow Captain. “I feel like I’m learning more about actual policework just watching you.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” Bogo gave a pithy grin. “But if there’s one lesson I’ve learned from regular Precincts, it’s that the headaches never end.”

* * *

Judy wasn’t sure if the deployment-less day she’d had yesterday had been a good or a bad one. She hadn’t talked with Joanna as much, but Clawhauser had been more than willing to chat with the rabbit while on standby.

The cheetah’s verbal intervention had been a godsend for a dull day. Even Lieutenant Marvin Sanderson and Officer Wanda Hickory of Division 1 had popped in briefly to join the conversation yesterday. In hindsight, Judy wondered if they’d been there just for Clawhauser – which would make sense, seeing as Clawhauser was a former teammate of theirs.

Judy had tried asking Sanderson for some tips on piloting, but her brief chat with the sand cat Lieutenant had quickly shifted to the topic of the Ingrowls and how they compared to Division 1’s CPL-97S Pythons.

“Our old Pythons just don’t stack up now that you’ve got those things,” Sanderson had sighed. “You don’t know how lucky you are, rabbit.”

Judy had tried not to look offended at the idea that her piloting ability was tied to the quality of her Labor – even if that wasn’t what Sanderson was implying. For some reason, it reminded her of what Lee had said to Bogo.

Now that Judy thought of it, she hadn’t seen that opossum anywhere during the little get-together. Lee rarely seemed to interact with the other SV2 officers, bar that suck-up Hylander following her around like a duckling after its mother. What _was_ it with Lee and her oh-I’m-too-cool-and-aloof-yet-I-know-everything act?! She was almost as bad as Wilde.

Naturally, as Judy thought about this the next day, she was amazed to find Wilde wiping down the monitors inside Unit 1’s cockpit.

“What are _you_ doing here?!” the fox and the rabbit chorused.

“Aren’t you usually fishing or finding some other way to waste time by now?” said Judy, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, I’m not taking any chances with Camazotz looming large,” said Wilde. “Plus, seeing as she’s in charge of maintaining this bucket’s vital systems, I’d rather stay on her good side.”

“I’ve said this before,” said Judy. “But aren’t you being a bit paranoid?”

“I’ve got a marathon to catch tonight. I’d rather not give that bat an excuse to keep me here too long.” Now it was Wilde’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Besides, if _I’m_ paranoid, then why are you holding those?”

Judy’s nose began to twitched as she regarded the sponge and bucket of soap-water in her paws. “I-I just wanted to put a little more TLC into Robin is all,” she stammered. “Might as well keep him looking neat and tidy!”

“Heh! Who needs a gun and a stun stick?” Wilde chuckled, reclining into the pilot’s chair. “By the time you’re through with Robin, he’d be so shiny he’d blind all those Labor-criminals into submission.”

“Well-“

Just then, alarm bells began to ring.

_“Attention please! Attention please! We have multiple 10-51Ls in the Upper Docklands. Division 2 is to mobilize immediately!”_

* * *

_“Ten-fifty-one-L…”_ Beaverbrook’s voice came over the radio as Division 2 motored out. _“That’s… large intoxicated mammals, right?”_

 _“Good work, Beaverbrook!”_ chuckled Hylander’s voice. _“We’ll make an officer of you yet!”_

Judy just rolled her eyes.

 _“Elephants to be exact,”_ Bogo grumbled. _“Three elephants that got laid off a paint factory and got the bright idea to get drunk as lords and smash up their old workplace._

 _“Now remember, these aren’t Labors you’re dealing with this time. So you’re now packing tranq pellets, not bullets. But even so,_ try _and de-escalate the situation before going crazy. And_ yes _, Wilde, that means you can put that mouth of yours to some use. Just try and stay behind Unit 1 this time._

_“And like I said, use minimal force. This paint factory contains flammable chemicals. I don’t want so much as a spark to come off those Labors!”_

* * *

The Upper Docklands weren’t far from the SV2 building, closer to Zootopia Bisondale International Airport. Despite Zootopia’s shift away from a service-based industry, there was a sizable industrial park in the area where this paint factory lay.

Once they arrived, the carrier payloads were raised, but Captain Bogo ordered Unit 2 to move in while Unit 1 stayed behind.

 _“Like I said, the chemicals in there are hazardous,”_ the Captain radioed from his slick-top cruiser. _“Unit 1 will remain on standby.”_

Judy’s face contorted into a scowl.

 _“Sorry, Hopps!”_ said Hylander as Unit 2 moved into the wide open doors of the South Wing of the paint factory, with Lee’s command car situating itself just outside.

 _“So now what?”_ said Clawhauser.

 _“Cap’n said to stand by, so we just… stand by,”_ said Wilde. _“Hope Hylander makes this quick. I’ve got my marathon to think about.”_

 _“Marathon?”_ said Clawhauser, before Judy heard the cheetah gasp. _“Oh-em-goodness! Are you a_ Doctor Time _fan?!”_

 _“Wh-what?!”_ said Wilde.

 _“It’s the only big marathon on tonight!”_ Clawhauser giggled. _“I thought I was the only one here! Hey Judy, d’you watch it?”_

“Uh, _Doctor Time_? No…” Judy didn’t want much TV to begin with. Still, she couldn’t resist grinning at the idea that Wilde was a sci-fi buff.

_“Uh, could we change the subj-“_

_“I’d watch it too but I’ve got all the DVDs so I don’t bother.”_ Clawhauser obviously hadn’t heard Wilde’s false start. _“We should get together and watch it sometime!”_

 _“Uh… sure?”_ Wilde didn’t sound so sure.

Judy pondered whether to butt in or not. She’d seen the odd stakeout scene on cop shows. Was this the Zeeplabor equivalent for one? She wished Sanderson and Hickory had given her more practical information.

In the end it was Captain Bogo who butted in. _“As interesting as this conversation is, could you please keep the lines open?!”_

Naturally it was just _then_ that Judy realized she had a question for Wilde.

With this in mind, Judy raised her cockpit so that her head poked out of Robin’s top hatch, right below the neck – a feature meant to be used if the Ingrowl’s cameras were disabled.

This done, Judy looked down to see that Wilde was leaning out of the open hatch of his command car.

“Hey Wilde!” Judy shouted in the fox’s direction. “Why’d you become a cop in the first place?”

“I…” The fox seemed taken aback, but the usual smug look quickly returned to his face. “I had Labor certification and I guess one day I got dropped on my head and I figured ‘why not try’? Second-worst mistake of my life…”

Bogo’s voice buzzed through their comm. systems before Judy could press the fox further. _“We’ve just had reports of a fourth drunking elephant making his way into the North Wing of the factory. Unit 1, move in.”_

“Yes, sir.” Judy made Robin step off the trailer and dash around the side of the plant to the North Wing.

Just then, Wilde’s voice broke through her comlink. _“Whoa, hey, Carrots! Remember what Bogo said. We can’t go in there guns-a-blazing!”_

“Well, what _should_ we do?!” Judy huffed.

 _“Just… try talking him down_ before _going crazy, okay?”_

“Wait, you want _me_ to talk to him?”

_“Well, why not?”_

* * *

When they finally passed through the large doors at the North side of the factory, they immediately saw an elephant just slumped against a large vat that Judy assumed contained paint.

“Sir? Hello?” said Judy, glancing at the pachyderm.

On closer inspection, the elephant’s eyes were closed, and he was audibly snoring.

Wilde leaned out of his command car’s top hatch, shaking his head. “He’s in a stupor.”

“What do we do?” said Judy. “We can’t just leave him here.”

“Think you could carry him out?” said Wilde.

“I’ll try,” said Judy, making Robin reach for the elephant’s arm, preparing to hoist him over its shoulder.

But to Judy’s surprise, the elephant suddenly pulled her in tightly and began grappling with her. The rabbit had to retract Unit 1’s cockpit as the stench of cheap beer emanated from under the elephant’s trunk.

“Oh, Roxanne!” the elephant muttered without opening his eyes as he tightly wrapped his thick arms around the Ingrowl. “I knew y’d come back! Firsht they lay me off, then the Shlammers blow the sheashon. I needed you sho bad!”

Wilde chuckled in spite of himself.

“This isn’t funny, Wilde!” Judy groaned as she tried to wrangle the Zeeplabor free. “How do I get him off me?!”

“Uh, Captain?” Wilde said into his comms system, trying in vain to hold back laughter. “Suspect has fallen asleep but is still lucid enough to cuddle Unit 1 like a stuffed toy. How do we proceed, over?”

 _“Wilde, please tell me I misheard that,”_ Bogo groaned. _“Did you seriously just tell me that the suspect is cuddling Unit 1 like a stuffed toy?”_

“Well, I was gonna say like a sex doll, but I thought you’d want me to keep things professional.”

 _“Wilde…!”_ the cape buffalo growled.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash as the wall on the opposite side of the room collapsed.

There, stepping through the rubble, was an Ushii Bullfrog, painted a bright yellow.

An off-key voice sang through the newcomer’s loudspeakers. _“HEEEEEEERE I come to save the_ – HIC! – _DAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!”_

Nick just groaned as he buried his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SPECIES NAMES AND EXPLANATIONS:**
> 
> Marvin Sanderson: Sand Cat ( _Felis margarita_ )
> 
> Wanda Hickory: Prevost's Squirrel ( _Callosciurus prevostii_ )


	7. “Carrots, you’re a small annoying creature.”

[ _[OST1]_ ](https://youtu.be/bUJlYktejmw)

“I’ll show thoshe maniacsh in the ZPD how to _really_ take ‘em down!” slurred the genet piloting the incoming Bullfrog.

“Cap’n, we have a problem,” Wilde said into his receiver.

 _“What is it now?!”_ growled Captain Bogo.

“We now have a wannabe vigilante in a Bullfrog on the scene. Ten-to-one he’s DWI.”

“What _is_ it with drunks today?!” groaned Judy, just managing to pull herself free of the inebriated elephant.

Nick spoke a mile a minute as he lowered himself back into his car and reversed out of the Bullfrog’s path. “It’s the middle of a heat wave, City Hall’s announced a tax hike, and the Slammers are blowing their postseason chances like there’s no tomorrow. _Everyone_ ’s drowning their sorrows!”

“Don’t worry, Roxanne!” The elephant suddenly got up and put himself between Robin and the interloper. “I’ll protect you!”

“Sir, please!” Judy tried to reason through her loudspeakers while pulling the elephant back. “Wilde, help!”

“Uh…” Wilde glanced nervously from the Bullfrog to the elephant and back. “Can’t we just talk about this?” he finally said through his car’s speakers.

“YAAAAAARGH!” The Bullfrog’s pilot suddenly charged at the elephant. Robin quickly threw the pachyderm down behind her and caught the renegade Bullfrog’s punch with one hand.

“Roxanne!” The elephant suddenly tried to charge around Robin, but the taller Ingrowl swung its left arm around and gave the elephant a stiff-arm, still holding the Bullfrog’s arm with its right hand.

“Wilde…!” Judy growled as she tried to hold the two inebriated combatants apart.

Nick glanced between the three, unsure how to handle two nutjobs at once. “C-can I ask you both to just settle down?”

“Fergeddit!” both drunks yelled.

Wilde facepalmed before talking into his radio. “Captain, if you wanna send us some backup, now’s the time!”

 _“Negative,”_ said Bogo. _“Hylander has his hands full as it is, and Division 1’s off-duty.”_

The Bullfrog tried grabbing at Unit 1 with its free arm and pulling it down, but just then, the elephant grabbed hold of Robin with his trunk and pushing the Ingrowl onto the Bullfrog, knocking them both down like dominoes.

“Shorry, Roxanne!” said the elephant as he groggily stood up.

“I’m not Roxanne!” Judy snapped as she quickly made Unit 1 stand up.

“Carrots!” Wilde yelled into his comm. system. “You can tranq him now!”

“Okay…!” Unit 1 took out its pellet gun and was about to aim it at the elephant when all of a sudden, the Ingrowl fell over as the Bullfrog pulled its leg back.

This caused Robin’s leg to abruptly kick upward and catch the elephant in the chin. The pachyderm stumbled backward, right into the side of one of the paint vats, and he slumped over, unconscious.

“Well, one down, one to go…” said Wilde, poking his head out of the command car’s hatch before switching on his loudspeakers. “Okay, come on, buddy! Let’s just talk about this!”

“Nuh-uh!” said the genet. “You guysh are wrecking the plashe up ash bad ash he wash! I’ll show you! I’ll show you all!”

* * *

“Can I just get you to- _GAH!_ Calm down, please!” Howard Hylander groaned as he made Unit 2 dodge paint cans being thrown by the unruly elephants he had been sent to pacify.

Hylander had managed to tranq one of the elephants, but the remaining two were putting up a fierce fight.

“I repeat!” Lee yelled through her command car’s speakers as she peeked out the roof of her car. “If you do not settle down _immediately_ , we will have to use force!”

“Shaddap!” yelled one of the elephants, using his trunk to hurl a pipe at the Ingrowl, knocking its tranq gun out of its hand.

“Right!” Hylander growled as he made Unit 2 pull out its stun stick. “It seems I shall have to be _rude_!”

“Hylander, no!” Lee groaned as Unit 2 advanced on the elephants.

Ten seconds later Unit 2 was flat on its back as one of the elephant began banging its fists on it.

Lee slammed her face into the roof of her car. What had she done to deserve this?!

* * *

“I’ll show you!” the genet yelled as the Bullfrog threw a punch.

Judy dodged. “You’re only making things worse for yourself!” she exclaimed through her speakers.

“Listen to her!” Nick said through his.

“ _Shaddap, fox!_ Why won’t anyone take me sherioushly?!” the genet roared, delivering a blow to Robin’s chest-mounted bull-bars.

“Stop or I’ll shoot!” Judy yelled, pointing her tranq gun at the rogue Labor.

“Carrots, it only shoots tranq pellets!” said Nick, having neglected to turn off his loudspeakers.

In her cockpit, Judy brought her palm to her face. “He didn’t know that, Wilde!”

“Oh…” Nick felt stupid. _Real_ stupid.

The genet was livid. “YOU THINK I’M STUPID, DO YA?! YOU THINK I’M STUPID?!”

Judy made Robin take a few steps back. “ _Now_ what are we supposed to do?!”

“Paint vat! Paint vat!” Wilde snapped into his receiver. Judy immediately took a step forward, away from the vat of paint behind her.

While she was distracted, the Bullfrog tackled the Ingrowl into the side of the vat, punching her repeatedly until the vat ruptured, sending a cascade of magenta paint pouring onto the Zeeplabor. Judy abruptly pushed herself upright. The surprised genet pulled the Bullfrog back, causing it to stumble into another vat, causing a jet of fluorescent green paint to gush in Robin’s direction.

“I KNOW WHAT I’M DOIN’!” the genet yelled, hurling a palette full of plastic paint buckets at the Labor. Judy pulled up her shield, but wasn’t quite fast enough to prevent the buckets from rupturing against it, sending a wave of bright orange headed her way.

Nick was forced to close his command car’s hatch to shield himself from the multicolored tsunami.

Once the fox was sure the paint storm had subsided, he noticed that his live feed from Robin’s main camera was showing a blank screen. Some of the paint must have covered it up.

Cautiously, he peered out of the top hatch of his car and took in the sight of the Ingrowl, which now looked like it had been redecorated by Jackson Molelock. Bright orange covered the machine’s face and left arm. Bright pink covered the back and right arm. Bright green covered the legs. The chest contained a mixture of all three colors.

Nick gawked in disbelief at the spectacle as Judy raised her cockpit out of the upper hatch so she could see properly.

There was a moment of silence as the partners took in the splattered Labor, knowing what the Animazon Rule meant they would have to do now.

“You painted my Robin…” Judy hissed through the machine’s loudspeakers. “You just painted my Robin…!”

“Farewell, sweet marathon,” Nick muttered darkly. “May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”

The fox then reached for his receiver. “Carrots, if we want to get out of painting duty at a slightly less ungodly hour, you’re gonna have to lure this guy out of here.”

“Okay, how?”

“Carrots, you’re a small annoying creature.”

“HEY!”

“Right now, that’s a compliment. This guy’s got major anger issues. _Use that_.”

[ _[OST2]_ ](https://youtu.be/Px6dmEmfRJs)

Judy took a deep breath in. “Okay…”

She then carefully positioned the paint-spattered Unit 1 between the Bullfrog and the door, putting as much distance between them as she could.

“What’re ya doin’ now?!” yelled the genet.

“You know, you _really_ aren’t helping your case right now.” Judy made sure her loudspeakers were switched on. “If we’re maniacs, what does that make you?”

“ _Shaddap_!” yelled the genet as the Bullfrog surged forward.

Judy pulled back. Luckily for her, the Ingrowl was the faster runner, so the Bullfrog just swiped at thin air.

By now, Robin was at the massive doors that led out into the factory parking lot.

“You can’t shay that to me!” the genet yelled. “You can’t point the finger at me for thish!”

Just then, an idea occurred to Judy, and she activated the Ingrowl’s virtual reality gloves. These control systems were meant to assist in delicate operations – operative word being _meant_ to.

“I’ve only got _one_ finger for you!” Judy crowed, raising the machine’s middle finger, hoping beyond hope that word of this incident never reached her mother.

“WHY YOOOOUUUUUUUU!” The Bullfrog charged forward. Robin sidestepped the drunkard’s machine again, and it tumbled into the parking lot. Judy quickly placed herself between the enemy Labor and the factory doors, so that the genet couldn’t head back into the factory.

This done, Judy went on the offensive, charging and grappling with the Bullfrog ad pushing it even further away from the doors.

“That’s it! That’s it! You’ve got it!” said Nick, driving out the factory.

The Bullfrog drew back and charged again, throwing a punch. Judy dodged and jammed the Ingrowl’s elbow into the Bullfrog’s abdomen, causing it to stumble.

“No, wait! Wait for a good hit!” barked Nick. “Just keep him swinging until you can stick ‘im! Try and get him to turn his back on you!”

Judy oblighed, keeping Robin close enough to entice the genet into throwing punches, yet distant enough that she could easily dodge them with ease.

“Yes! Yes! That’s it!” Nick laughed triumphantly at the Bullfrog’s drunken swings and their failure to connect. “Pretty little bunny ballerina!”

“I resent that- _ah_!”

The genet had taken advantage of Judy’s brief distraction and plowed into Robin, keeping the Zeeplabor down.

Judy reacted quickly though, pulling out her tranq gun and firing two shots at the cockpit. She knew that the pellets wouldn’t damage the Labor, but seeing the pale green pellets splatter over the windshield showed her that her gambit had worked.

“Nice!” Nick muttered. Now the genet was blinded, giving Judy enough time to bring Robing to its feet.

“You stupid-“ the Bullfrog’s airplane-like canopy opened up, but by that time, Unit 1 had swung around to the rear of the opposing Labor and pulled out its stun stick.

“Yes, that’s it! Stick ‘im!” Nick cackled.

The genet tried to swivel around to deliver another blow, but it was too late; Judy had embedded the baton deep into the Bullfrog’s back. Smoke started emit from its ruptured batteries, and Robin pushed the enemy machine to the ground.

“I did it…” Judy muttered. “I did it!”

Nick ran over to the Bullfrog’s open cockpit and pulled out the inebriated genet, who was grappling at the controls to no avail. “You…” the fox panted. “You… are under… arrest!”

“Fuzzin’ fox…” the genet hissed.

After escorting the genet to his command car, Nick sighed and collapsed against the side of the vehicle.

 _“Unit 1! What’s going on there?!”_ Bogo’s voice came over the radio.

“Captain…” Judy panted, triumph edging into her voice. “Both the elephant and the rogue Bullfrog are down for the count. The Bullfrog’s pilot is now in Officer Wilde’s custody and the elephant’s been knocked out.”

 _“Good work.”_ Bogo’s voice was jarringly mirthless. _“Lee reports that all three elephants in the other wind of the factory are tranquilized. Bring the one near you over here in case he needs medical treatment, then help Hylander bring his out. Has your machine taken any damage?”_

Judy and Nick looked over Robin’s multicolored, splattered exterior.

“J-just cosmetic, sir…” Judy muttered.

_“I see… Then you can bring it up with Camazotz when we get back.”_

Nick and Judy groaned.

* * *

From the roof of a warehouse a safe distance from the paint factory, a markhor had been observing the skirmish. Now, he took his hooves off his high-spec video camera, and called a number on his cell phone.

“Mr. Bright? It’s Screwney. I’ve just taken some of that Ingrowl footage you requested. I’ve got Unit 222 entering the factory, and Unit 221 engaging and disabling a Bullfrog just outside it. Any more requests?”

 _“Try and get some of them heading back to their carriers,”_ came a young voice at the other end. _“Not sure what I can do with that, but the more snaps you get of them, the better. You get either of the pilots’ species?”_

“Just 221’s. It’s either a rabbit or a hare. Female either way.”

 _“Oooh! I thought it’d be a predator!”_ Mr. Bright seemed pleased at the revelation. _“Just get that last bit of footage. See if you can get some of both Labors’ pilots so we can make a better guess of their species. Then bring it all home and you’ll have earned that paycheck of yours, my twirly-horned amigo!”_

* * *

[ _[OST3]_ ](https://youtu.be/YqzyJv8dlcQ)

“So… Captain?”

“Yes, Clawhauser?” Bogo walked up to the cheetah, who was now leaning against the side of his Labor-carrier, glancing up at Unit 1.

“D’you think those two are better now?”

“Hard to say,” Bogo sighed. “Like I always say, the headaches never end.”

“Oh…” Clawhauser seemed to deflate.

“Ah, don’t sweat it!” Clawhauser jumped as Lucy Camazotz fluttered down onto the carrier’s roof. “He’s just saying Zootopia wasn’t built in a day. It’s just a matter of moving forward, and those two seem to be doing it alright.”

“That’s one way of looking at it,” said Bogo. “I get the feeling this won’t be the _biggest_ headache I have to deal with for now…”

The buffalo glanced up to where Nick and Judy were applying a new coat of paint to Robin.

“I hope they lock that genet up and throw away the key,” grumbled Judy, taking a quick break from spraying black paint on the Ingrowl’s shoulder.

“Hopefully next time we’ll get deployed to Lower Sahara,” Nick said as he used his own sprayer. “We could get some time in at the beach.”

Judy thought for a bit, then shook her head. “Knowing Camazotz, she’d have us getting sand out of his joints.”

“Touché,” muttered Nick.

“They ought to just ban Labors from paint factories,” Judy grumbled. Just then, a thought popped into her head. “Have you had experience with Labors?”

“Some… Worked with I.H.I. for a bit,” Nick muttered under his breath.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, apparently my work there made me qualified enough that they forwarded me a new recruitment package for the ZPD’s new Labor division.”

“What’d you do at I.H.I.?

“Eh, some test work…”

Judy’s eyes bulged. “You were a test pilot?!”

“Technically.” Nick shrugged. “Most of what I did was just making sure joints and stuff did as they were told. I didn’t do much of the fancy stuff like frame integrity testing.”

“Okay…” Judy stared at the slick new coat of black paint. “You never told me what made you join the police…”

Nick sighed. “I made mistakes, okay?!”

_[_ [ _OST4_ ](https://youtu.be/dL83L-VU1Bc) _]_

The fox’s outburst startled Judy. She then realized that there was still so much she didn’t know about Nick Wilde – and now she doubted he’d ever willingly tell her about it.

This fox – who her life depended on in the field – was a complete enigma to her.

* * *

From the catwalk leading to the offices, Virginia Lee Foxape cast a leery eye over the rabbit as she stared at the fox.

That rabbit had gotten lucky. Sure, she’d improved since Okavango Road, but Lee knew her emotional approach would get the better of her. Sooner or later, Lee would show what she could do…

* * *

“Looks like Bogo’s being kept busy.”

“Just as long as he _stays_ busy; that’s what matters!”

“You still think he could get in our way?”

“You’re the one saying we need to plan for every eventuality.”

“Fair enough…”

“So, when do we move forward?”

“Not just yet. I’m still putting things together.”

“Well, it had better be worth it!”

“Oh, it will. It may take a while, but once the dust settles, this town will be eating out of our hands.”

* * *

**THIS IS AN AU, BUT IN TEN YEARS, WHO KNOWS…?**

[ _[OST-PV]_ ](https://youtu.be/ppx5VEej7BU)

**NEXT TIME:**

**Judy:** “ _RRRGH!_ I can’t _stand_ it!”

 **Nick:** “Ooh boy… What’d I do now?”

 **Judy:** “Not you, _Lee_ ! What’ll it take to get some _respect_ from her?!”

 **Lee:** “I just don’t think you’re cut out to be a Zeeplabor pilot. You’re letting your ego get in the way of your job.”

 **Judy:** “Oh, gimme a break! Like _you_ don’t have an ulterior motive!”

 **Nick:** “Uh, ladies…!”

 **Lee:** “Well then, why don’t you put your money where your muzzle is?”

 **Judy:** “What were you thinking?”

 **Nick:** “Uh…”

 **Lee:** “You and me, in Labors – then we can settle it once and for all!”

 **Judy:** “You’re on!”

 **Nick:** “Seriously?!”

 **Hylander:** “Back off, Wilde! This is an affair of honor!”

 **Nick:** “Oh, for the love of…!”

 **Judy:** “On the next _Zeeplabor_ ; ‘Playing the Possum!' _Target: Locked On!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that this serial is over, here's that **important announcement** I was talking about. I've got good news and bad news.
> 
> The bad news is, since it's possible that IRL concerns may delay me, it'll be a while before the next episode comes (I'll still post the Labor Files entry for this episode though).
> 
> The good news is, this delay is also because I plan to write the next episode all in one go. I won't actually upload bits of it until I finish the whole thing. While there'll be a longer time until the next upload, there'll (hopefully) be shorter, more regular times in between the uploading of each part! Plus, while I'm uploading episode 3, I might get a jump on writing episode 4, so hopefully there'll be less of a gap between episodes in future!
> 
> **SPECIES NAMES AND EXPLANATIONS:**
> 
> Screwney: Bukharan Markhor ( _Capra falconeri heptneri_ ) - One look at a markhor's horns should tell you how Screwney got his name.
> 
> **BACKGROUND MUSIC** :
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Approach" - from _Mobile Suit Gundam 00_
> 
> 2) "Guardian Angel (remix)" - originally from _Super Robot Wars J_
> 
> 3) Disney Peaceful Piano - "Try Everything" (original by Shakira)
> 
> 4) Kenji Kawai - "Mocking in Summer" - from _Patlabor: The Movie_
> 
> PV) Kenji Kawai - "Scramble!" - from _Patlabor: The Mobile Police_ TV series


	8. Labor Files - UL-97 Bullfrog and FL-01 Bumpacrop

# UL-97 Bullfrog

 **Model Number:** UL-97

 **Code name:** Bullfrog

 **Use:** Construction Labor

 **Manufacturer:** Ushii Heavy Industries

 **Height:** 6.21 meters

 **Width:** 4.96 meters

**Weight:**

Standard: 7.83 metric tons

Full: 8.21 metric tons

 **Armour:** Fiber reinforced material (aluminum/steel)

 **Maximum lifting capacity:** 4.2 metric tons

 ** _Patlabor_ analogue:** [HL-97 Bulldog](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/patlabortv/hl-97.htm)

**Special Notes:**

  * Can perform underwater work up to 10 meters



* * *

# FL-01 Bumpacrop

 **Model Number:** FL-01

 **Code name:** Bumpacrop

 **Use:** Agricultural Labor

 **Manufacturer:** Fiverson Agricultural Equipment

 **Height:** 7.13 meters

 **Width:** 4.65 meters

**Weight:**

Standard: 6.98 metric tons

Full: 7.66 metric tons

 **Armour:** Fiber-reinforced plastic & aluminum

 **Maximum lifting capacity:** 1.5 metric tons.

 ** _Patlabor_ analogue:** [EL-01 Housaku](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/patlabortv/el-01.htm)

** Known Pilots: **

  * Stuart Hopps
  * Stuart Hopps Jr.
  * Judy Hopps



**Special notes:**

  * Has seen increased use in farming locales like Bunnyburrow
  * Can be equipped with a variety of attachments to suit different farming needs (e.g. a combine-harvester or spike roller attachment on the frontal abdomen)



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ushii Heavy Industries is a play on the _Patlabor_ company Hishii Heavy Industries, and the Japanese word for "bull".
> 
> Similarly, Fiverson Agricultural Equipment is a reference to Fiver, the rabbit character from _Watership Down_.
> 
> The Bumpacrop's name is (of course) a play on the phrase "bumper crop," which is roughly what "Housaku" - the name of the Bumpacrop's _Patlabor_ analogue - translates to.


End file.
